Strike and Out!

Very rarely do I have any opinion on indian politics or for that matter I am quite ignorant about the entire indian political machinery.
Yes - I do keep track of whats happening in india on a day to day basis.
No - I don’t think I can comment on how the politicians do their jobs.

Obviously, it is indeed very easy to sit miles away from India and pick up the news paper or flick through various news channels, grimace and say " hmmphh!! Politicians", but that is something I would not do unless I myself am willing to change something in the system itself. Atleast they try.
None the less, I must say I was quite perplexed, it also got me wondering when I read about the proposed bandh or nationwide strike that has struck India on the 5th of July 2010.

Cause: Price Rise
Accused: UPA
Complainant: NDA
Victim: every single indian citizen.

Well, I did notice in my last visit home, to Goa, that prices have been going through the roof. Inflation is working over time and refuses to stop. But is a nationwide strike really the best the opposition could come up with to fix the issue? So, we have all the political big-wigs sitting in their a/c cabins - starched kurtas and crisply ironed, hair well oiled and combed, nails clipped demanding for a bandh because apparently that’s what the aam admi wants, in the mean time the aam admi is not allowed to go to work by rioting bandh activists resulting in a loss of days pay and those who try risk injury thanks to stone pelting opposition ground workers.
Was every single billion citizen in india asked whether they prefer a bandh or not?
You can not call a bandh a success just because 10000 indians were on the street protesting while the remaining millions chose to stay away from it and not get involved.
Really makes me wonder how burning buses, stopping business from functioning, shutting down the second fastest growing economy in the world, causing public property damage, loss of life etc etc is going to actually bring down the inflation and reduce costs. As of now there has already apparently been a loss of 2000 crores (and counting) to the purse of central govt.
You probably by now think I am an anti NDA voter and a pro Congress. No I am not. I am just pro Progress.
All sides (the Left, the Right and the Center) have some big stalwarts, who know how to get the job done and infact how to get it done just perfectly right but for some reason they prefer a Bandh rather than a Bandhobast.

Humpty's Dump

Here's the real story of Humpty Dumpty
not quite the same you heard in nursery
it wasnt an accident as everyone was told
the weak hearted may leave, as the story unfolds

Not long ago he got married to little Red
yes, shes the same girl from the Wolf story you read
all was well, the marriage was fine
till the day she met again the wild canine

The woodcutter's blow had fixed him he said
the Wolf was now in love with lil' Miss Red
the glint in his eyes and the furry chest
seeing them, laid all her fears to rest

"But I am taken" she cried "what do we do?"
"leave that upto me" said the Wolf "aaaoooo"

"your husband is just a problem too little"

"did you know Humpty is actually brittle?"

So dear readers, it wasnt really an accident
Humpty was pushed, just as the Wolf meant,
as he sat on the rail.
and this is the truth of this Grim Fairytale

kera-lite!!

A tribute to all my mallu friends... i lev wyu aal

Q- Why are Indian mallus better at fractions than NRI mallus?
A- Because they are desi-mals

Q- Whats the cross betn a UP-ite and a keralite?
A- Malayalam Singh Yadhav

Pandora's Box

What holds this jar, within,

That bring to the world hunger and sin

Twas a paradise and worries none

Opening the box was no good done

Lurking she knew not what beyond the lid

Treasures and jewels that Zeus hid?

But lay in there the curse to vice

Made us mortal and lose paradise

Why pandora did u open the box

Severe them, those forbidden locks

But to defy culture of this society dope

Unmoved in the box, was a vial of hope!

cursory rhymes

and its now many years later
and jack was to marry the mayors daughter
and as they took the vows on that very hill
sat in the crowd weeping jill

and so on the priests behest
he asked if anyone were to protest
"challenge it, nows ur chance
be the one in the first dance"

so stood up jill amidst the crowd
"stop" she said out really loud
"must not let this happen now"
"jacks lost his mind and i ll tell u how"

"here we came for a drink of water
jack fell down
and broke his crown
and u know the story thereafter"

all over for the pullover

A sweater so fine a sweater so cool
Made from billy the sheep who gave up her wool
The sweater was made to keep him warm
Just one wash and the sweater was gone

A small stain forced him to rinse
But read he not the instructions within
Do not wash and musnt u dry
Is that too hard for him to try

So he soaked and soaped this woolen cloth
And Let it suck all the bubbely froth
Then he sets the dryer too high
Lo behold....
The sweater he wanted when he was five.


In memory of Praveen's sweater that shrunk 5 times its original size

Oxymorons!!

it is strange the way of words
how they use, so unheard
"exact estimate" or "butt head"
leaving nothing more to be said

does there exist a "wedded bliss"
and how can u make "plastic glasses"
the strangest one being "a silent woman"
that truly would be a "genuine imitation"

"tight slacks" can be "clearly misunderstood"
also "good grief" isnt really all that good
So "Now, then" am penning my "unbiased opinion"
as i was just taking a "working vacation"

Swine Flu - The Begining!!

pedro one nite strolled down the park

he was pissed drunk on his tequilla shot

he bumped into her , tht immediate spark

and here begins the tale of this twisted plot

they shuffled together behind a bush

tumbled over a root looking really stupid

landing on their tush

they knew it was cupid

he held her close and leaned in a kiss

she held him back and said please note this

i have a problem or may be two

i am a pig and may have a flu

but heard he not the truth divine

as he made love to the blessed swine

so this is how it all begun

spare the pig, blame the mexican

Bushwhacked

Just when we thought that america had finally secured its airspace and aerial attacks were avoidable, out of no where a pair of size tenners proved all that wrong.

For a person who usually would let his pen do the talking, has already set quite a few tongues wagging in the Arab world. The American boot licking Iraqi Premier had the scribe, who almost got the worlds most powerful man licking an iraqi shoe, immediately arrested but at the same time promoted him to a hero status.
Even a professor has offered to buy the new on the list "weapon of mass destruction" for a whopping 10 million USDs settingthe stage for quite an auction which could fetch the journalist quite a boot-y. But, if Mr Al-Zaidi wants his prize he would have quite a bit of "sole" searching to do once he steps out of jail.

Obviously now, the question arises whether all american press conferences are going to ban footwear or invade any country making shoes without the appropriate licensing. Even though the entire act is deplorable it is inhuman to arrest a man and then walk him to the nearest police station barefoot.
Well... anyways we must let by gones be by gones and hope the americans curb their natural instinct of waging war for every attack on their pride,cause in this case the shoe size was definitely far superior to the IQ ofthe prez, but instead sit back and enjoy the reruns of the whole episode on youtube.
A ticket to Iraq 600 USD
A pair of shoes 20 USDs
War in iraq 117billion USDs
But the look on the presidents face was definitely priceless!!!

Anonymous : "A shoe in hand is less worth than two at Bush!!"

Wish U were here!

who said its easy?
u donno how it is when u r gone
the whole world sits besides me
but i still feel all alone

i think i see u everyday
with visions from the past
and with u miles away
its just the memories that last

i do not hear wht you say
but your words enchant me like a song i knw
with music never heard before
leading me to where i must go

i fidget in the emptiness
and gaze in the sky so unclear
there are things i wish to say
for only i wish u were here

just another rhyme!

muddy waters silent lanes
stary nights sunny days
if dreams were wishes
then my wishes came true

the teary widow
and her lonely dog
if only knew to each other they belong
then why wud they sing this silent song

who is it that angers u
may be spare the devil
he does no harm
its God who has created this vodoo charm

the suns out
let the flowers bloom
the clouds are gone the sky is clear
the birds are back SPRING is here

like a phoenix...

walking down that lonely road
the world turned its back on me
with friends just letting go
i knew i was all alone

then the sun set down on me
and the stars refused to shine
the sky opened up and took me in
and spat me back right outside

i wonder what mends a broken heart
and life becomes a one way street
your dreams slowly fade away
as it gets tougher to face the day

when all your doors open to darkness
and its hard to just simply fall apart
i get down on my knees and wish to pray
but the floor just gives away

i know i need to breathe again
need no hand to pull me up
soon on me the sun will shine
from the ashes i will rise

..from the ashes
like a phoenix i will rise

Solitaire!!

a dream i dream

thoughts by the Window

i dream of those lanes
the land from wher i went away
those streets that i left behind
that little bar in bombay

i remember those days in the coffee shops
the jokes, laughter and more
the slap on the back from a friend of mine
and the sweet silence of mysore

i miss that smile from my mum
my dad and the long talks with him
the familiar smell of the place i call home
and warm sun of panjim

i dream about the one i love
wish i could bring her with me
the good old hug from my bro
and the crowd in new delhi

i know its me that who left
but thats where i d rather be
the dust, the heat, the love, the soil
i miss my own country

i sit here miles away and all i can do is wait....

In the Jungle the Mighty Jungle....

The weekends here again... i was up really early this sunday only coz i had planned to go for a nice walk in the forest armed with my cam, its 2 o clock in the morning...the sun is out...(eerrr!! ok its 2 PM, afternoon and it is quite early in the day for me especially since its a weekend... yeah da praveen i knw i am a loser so stop grinning!!). Anyways, let me go further with the story before it gets too late. Its a nice weather for a trek in the woods. No the sun aint out, the sky aint blue, the birds aint chirping and nor am i happy bout getting outta bed this damn early in the day. But i have been wanting to check out BOSBAAN for quite a while so picked today. Why today? Anything auspicious bout it? Ofcoouurrseee... its diwaaalli. Well!! that wasnt the reason but yeah whatever.. A quick shower, some cream on my tattoo (yeah yeah !! on my tattoo... woohoo.. for all those who donno... its been a week since i am sportin that babbhay on ma arm and it feels good), grab ma cam, put on ma gogs and head off to Amstelveen Bus station to get the 172 to a place whose name i cant spell. As i get off the bus, a cold (freaking cold) breeze blows into ma face and skies open up just then with tiny drops of rain suddenly filled the sky - yes there is some one who wakes up after me, its The RAIN GODS.I then carried on towards the woods, not really sure in which direction to go (it happens at times to me, i suddenly get clueless and my sense of direction decides to take a nap. But its just a one off thingie - right Jinwin...eeerrmm Gotigere!! whazzat??) Phoophhh!!! finally reached the lil road that leads into the forest. It dint look quite appealing to me at the beginning i mus confess but yeah once i made my way through the trees, over lil bridges, crossing small streams and canals the virtue of nature began to show its greatest features. The rain had stopped (not for long tho) and the sun had come out smiling looking all happy and gay (ooh ohh!! imagine the sky turning all grey and saying "my sun's gay. I think its time to moon (read as mourn)" Ppl who thought that was a bad joke kindly press "Alt F4" - and no! ANU u couldnt do better, so stop patting yourself on the back) The Bosbaan is quite a mysterious place. I say mysterious coz u wudnt have no clue what its gonna have at the next turn around the big oak tree. One moment you ll be walking all by yourself in the middle of no where, happily whistling to urself, the bees buzzing, the mud gathering on ur shoes but the very next moment you ll end up right in front of a huge play field with children screeching, people playing with their dogs, a hoard of horses waiting to give a ride and everything else you wouldnt expect in the middle of nowhere. You wouldnt believe but if you keep walking further and further into the forest u ll even see an amphitheatre. Whats an amphitheatre doing in the middle of a forest? i donno... so dont ask me...theres even a restaurant (ya da pappu now u start reading) The best part of the forest is that you signs showing you the way out (aaaah!!! how lucky was I).After around 8-10 kms of walking (i know the distance coz the signboards had the distance written on them), loads of pics, a few insect bites, and scratches from a few bushes/shrubs i walked out into the city a very happy man (coz i was outta there and on my way back to the comforts of my warm bed and thick blanket).. yeah yeah!! u think this story has an happy ending... think again... not this one... I happened to get out of the wrong side of the jungle (the OTHER SIDE)... so lets just leave it at that.

sayonara!!!

With Love from Allahabad

"... kidhar jaaoge saab?" was what the old man in white asked me. Chewing on a paan, or what i thought was a paan atleast, could have been just plain supari (beetlenut) or ghutka.I appeared to be a very likely customer, probably his first for the day. It was 9:30 on a monday morning in the bustling streets of Bombay, not exactly the place i wanted to be at this time of the day, but there wasnt anyone around i could complain to. "Haan Bhaiya... Fort area jaana hain. Chaloge?""Zaroor" came the quick response. I had my Visa appointment at 12. Leaving a little to early from home?? i dont think so... didnt quite want to take the chance in bombay... no no no!!! Also needed to get a few snaps clicked of myself.... for the visa. Dont worry i am not into self photography or anything.Quickly i got into the Taxi told him all the possible stops i wanted to make, and the man was on his way. It was going to be a long day i reckoned, with the traffic moving at a snails pace, the heat killing and the humidity kept reminding me of the cold luxurious shower i had in the morning.
"Toh Saab aap Mumbai ke ho?" he inquired. "Bangalore" i replied "Bangalore se aaya hoon.. office ke kuch kaam se""Kya kaam karte hain aap??service ya khud ka business hain?" he asked, as his thick white eyebrows turned into question marks. The question and answer session continued for quite a while. My taxi driver was from Allahabad and had moved to Bombay ever since he can remember and has been here till day. His first job he says is the best he could ever have got. Meeting new people, seeing places, and doing what he liked best... driving. Yes!! Hes been a cab driver all his life....errmm i mean obviously after 18. A few things u ought to know about Bombay... the spirit of the city, the trains, the wada paavs, the dabawaalas and the taxis. Over the next one and a half hours, as we passed the worli seaface, the famous haaji ali, heera panna - the shoppers nest, chowpatty, waves at the marine drive the man churned out stories after stories. questions after questions. Showed me all the places i had never even heard off, places i never even think about going to..."toh saab, bangalore mein bhi taxi hogi?" he asked with interest, bringing a big smile to my face as i answered his question in the affirmative. It wasnt long before i reached Forbes building. Taxi Chacha (lets just call him dat) said he would wait for me as it was just a matter of half an hour... i had mentioned to him somewhere in our conversation earlier that i had just an hours job at the consulate and then would be getting back to the same place i had boarded his cab in the morning.

...to be continued