Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Noah's park

"Take 2 of a kind of whatever u can
Put them in a boat to a faraway land
Stop not come thunder or rain
Sorrow, sadness troubles or pain

Build this boat on ur own u must
Tell no one or turn to dust"
Saying that God disappeared into the clouds
Leaving Noah thinking out loud

"Must really stop smoking this stuff
Things get stranger with every lil puff.
Did He really ask me to build my own ship
Fill it with women and go on a trip?"

"But how will they come If I don’t let them know
And why only 2 if there is place for 4.
Oh Dear Lord, this is a quite a sticky wicket
What do I charge for every ticket?"

And a year later the ship is ready
Set sail Noah nice and steady
And soon the skies opened up and started to pour 

Thunder, lightning and rain came down even more

That was the part that no one really knows
And this really how the story goes
Of Noah Hefner and his legacy
Now run by Hugh and Company.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Grim Fairy Tales - Snow White and her Dwarfs

The story of Snow White you know very well,
But a lesser known tale I am here going to tell.
There is no wicked Queen, mirror and all,
Just the dwarfs and Snow, the fairest of all.

So seven different stories mixed into one
No lover of tragedy? then this wont be fun.
A flavour of friendship, hatred and lust
The dark secrets of fairy land reveal I must.

To begin with Dopey, the one with the smile
To keep the curve on he goes a long mile.
For not be found Pot in the enchanted wood
But in the next village, sells it, Red Riding Hood.

Grumpy was not so, till he met White
Smitten by her, lay awake every night.
But her love for Happy was beyond any fold
"Not you, but I love your friend" Grumpy was told.

Alas here's the deadlock I must say
Coz the next dwarf is Happy and very much gay.
Happy loved Grumpy with all his might
Little he knew Grumpy longed for Miss White.

All was not that bad as it may appear
For trouble to Sleepy did not come too near.
Coz all he did was cuddle up nice
In the Grim times that is probably most wise.

Let me then tell you about the remaining two
There is no Bashful. Sneezy is just cuckoo.
And this why Doc stuck along side the dwarf
To cut back his personalities, back into half.

Musn't you, musn't you, even whisper this tale
That will lift the forest's enchanted veil.
Please let this remain a bedtime delight
While we read to our children the story of Snow White.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Paisa Vasool

Raji: Gots?
Gots: haan baba
Raji: What is the currency of Dubai
Gots: Dirham... why?
Raji: I thought it was durum

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Ribbit for your pleasure


Raji: I know how to turn on male frogs!!!


Thursday, December 09, 2010

House Hunting

You probably are going to be disappointed at the end of this post to not find anything about pointers for looking for houses, apartments etc. But I am sure you will also be equally amazed to learn yet another trait of Raji.
An abnormally cold winter day - best option was to stay indoor lay on the couch and watch some tele. Dang! My satellite channels don’t seem to be working which means I have to watch whatever english show is playing on the Dutch channels. But luckily for me (and the revival of this blog) House was on air.
Raji, who hasn’t watched the 30 minute sitcom before, was quickly sucked in the madness of the protagonist, words picked up from a medical thesarus (Pruritis, cephalgia, flatus etc).
Gautam: (45 minutes after House started) I am switching off the TV

Raji: Eh u go ya. I want to see what happens at the end of the show.

Gautam: but..

Raji: shhhh!!!

Gautam: But the show got over already…

In Conversation with Myself

Any reference to a character flabby or talktative is purely coincidental.
This is a narration of a true incident with fictional characters.

Setting the scene: Sitting in the bus to Amstelveen, Raji and Gautam are having a post-day-at-work convervsation. Raji was mentioning how difficult her colleague "Sherbet" was being and just then another colleague got onto the bus at the next stop. Digamber makes his way to an empty seat and makes himself comfortable. Both Raji and Gautam look at him, then each other and nod in disapproval.
Gautam: Has Digamber become a TM finally?
Raji: No he's just an acting TM.
Gautam: Oh so hes not got an Internal promotion as yet?
Raji: who got promotion?
Gautam: Digamber?
Raji: he got a promotion?
Gautam: arrrreeee.. U said he has become an acting TM
Raji: When did I say that?
Gautam: at the start of the conversationnnnnn…
Raji: oh! I thought that conversation was over

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Alter Egos - The Darker Side

Rajeshwari: the great Bhali
"I am just a boy, not the great Bhali", she retorted when she realised her cover was almost blown only to realise minutes later that Khali was the wrestler she wanted to refer to and a couple of more minutes later she realised she also is not a boy.
It was a quiet Saturday morning when her fiance who thought he knew her well enough realised she was no ordinary muscular girl next door.
"My arms are paining Gots" she said.
"what did u do? U have just been sitting around doing nothing" came a prompt but a concerned reply
"I worked out in the gym… I think my muscles have grown more than my arms can accommodate"

Suman oof Su(le)man the crocodile hunter
She claimed to be from Papua New Guinea but she has no records of herself during those years. Rumors are that Suleman was studying suicidal crocodile hunting in Madrasaa (now called Chennai). Apparently their secret weapon is the very unlikely Bread Fruit.
Right after throwing a slightly ripe Bread Fruit at a croc " kyaaan baa! Yeh corcodial marta nahi"
It has also come to light that her surname (not to be revealed here to protect writer) in an european language means " hatchet"
Guess that gives a whole new meaning to burying the hatchet
PS: if u thought u made the croc cry… think again!!!

Praveen aka Python Pandya
If u think Slytherin was a house in Hogwarts (Harry Potter reference) then PP is the headboy. Not many knew his love for the scaly slimy creatures, but a paparazzi shot revealed his travels to the east of europe were to spend time with hissss delightful lover. Apparently Python Pandya turned out to be quiet a snake charmer au contraire to his usual non macho image.
Wonder what a cross between a hop and a slide would be!!!!

Monday, July 05, 2010

Strike and Out!

Very rarely do I have any opinion on indian politics or for that matter I am quite ignorant about the entire indian political machinery.
Yes - I do keep track of whats happening in india on a day to day basis.
No - I don’t think I can comment on how the politicians do their jobs.

Obviously, it is indeed very easy to sit miles away from India and pick up the news paper or flick through various news channels, grimace and say " hmmphh!! Politicians", but that is something I would not do unless I myself am willing to change something in the system itself. Atleast they try.
None the less, I must say I was quite perplexed, it also got me wondering when I read about the proposed bandh or nationwide strike that has struck India on the 5th of July 2010.

Cause: Price Rise
Accused: UPA
Complainant: NDA
Victim: every single indian citizen.

Well, I did notice in my last visit home, to Goa, that prices have been going through the roof. Inflation is working over time and refuses to stop. But is a nationwide strike really the best the opposition could come up with to fix the issue? So, we have all the political big-wigs sitting in their a/c cabins - starched kurtas and crisply ironed, hair well oiled and combed, nails clipped demanding for a bandh because apparently that’s what the aam admi wants, in the mean time the aam admi is not allowed to go to work by rioting bandh activists resulting in a loss of days pay and those who try risk injury thanks to stone pelting opposition ground workers.
Was every single billion citizen in india asked whether they prefer a bandh or not?
You can not call a bandh a success just because 10000 indians were on the street protesting while the remaining millions chose to stay away from it and not get involved.
Really makes me wonder how burning buses, stopping business from functioning, shutting down the second fastest growing economy in the world, causing public property damage, loss of life etc etc is going to actually bring down the inflation and reduce costs. As of now there has already apparently been a loss of 2000 crores (and counting) to the purse of central govt.
You probably by now think I am an anti NDA voter and a pro Congress. No I am not. I am just pro Progress.
All sides (the Left, the Right and the Center) have some big stalwarts, who know how to get the job done and infact how to get it done just perfectly right but for some reason they prefer a Bandh rather than a Bandhobast.